What if In My Time of Dying
by Katy M VT
Summary: What if John didn't sell his soul?


What if John hadn't sold his soul?

John crept down to the basement and slowly opened the door. He had promised Sam he wouldn't go after the demon until they knew Dean was alright, but he didn't say anything about not summoning the demon for help. This was probably the stupidest thing he had ever done but he was desparate.

He knelt down on the floor and drew the marks that would protect him from the demon—the demon that killed his wife. He couldn't believe he was going to try to make a deal with this thing. He would do anything for his sons, though.

He put some sulphur in a container and cut himself to bleed in it. This was it. As soon as he said the incantation, there would be no going back. He took a deep breath and began the latin that would either save his son or be the biggest mistake he ever made.

Finishing, he sighed and stood up. The door opened and a man appeared.

"What are you doing down here?" he demanded.

"I just…" John started.

"You're going to have to come with me," the man said.

John stopped. If the demon thought that he could lure him out of his protective circle with that flimsy excuse, he was sadly mistaken. "How stupid do you think I am?" John asked.

"Do you really want an honest answer to that question?" the demon countered and flashed his yellow eyes. "I knew you were a lot of things, John, but recklessly suicidal wasn't one of them. Did you really think you could trap me?"

"I don't want to trap you, I want to make a deal," John said, confusing the demon momentarily.

"What kind of a deal?" he asked, intrigued.

"I will give you the Colt and the bullet, but you have to bring Dean back," John said.

The demon hesitated.

"Come on, you know this gun means more to you than Dean," John snapped, impatient.

"Don't be so sure. Dean killed a lot of people I cared about. But you're right he isn't much of a threat. Neither, of course, is your other son. You know the truth about Sammy and the others?"

"I know," John said. He hated this demon. That he had plans for his son. He had had plans for his son, too, when he was born. His son was going to go to college, make something of himself, get married, have a happy life. Then this stupid demon had to go and ruin everything. Not only ruin the plans for Sam's happy life, but in reality, ruin his whole relationship with him.

"But Sam doesn't know does he? You've been keeping secrets," the demon taunted.

"Enough," John shouted. He wasn't here to discuss Sam with this disgusting creature. He was here to save Dean's life. "Can you bring Dean back or not?"

"No, but I know who can. It won't be a problem."

"So, we have a deal," John said, ready to breathe a sigh of relief.

"No, John, we don't. There's something else I want. Something more than the Colt."

"What?" John asked, knowing whatever it was, he would give it to the demon. Anything for Dean.

"I want your soul," the demon said.

"What?" John asked.

"You heard me, your soul. You give me the gun, and your soul. I cart you to hell right away and Dean gets to live. Sounds fair to me."

John hesitated. He was more than willing to die for Dean, but eternity in Hell was something he would rather not do. He thought maybe he might not have to.

"No," he said. "Just the gun."

"Then no deal," the demon said and started to walk out. John almost called him back, but somehow managed not to. Good thing, too, because the demon turned around on his own.

"Fine," he said. "Just the Colt."

"I'm going to want to make sure Dean is OK before I hand over the gun," John said.

"You don't trust me? I'm hurt," the demon mocked. "Fine," and with that he disappeared, leaving John alone in the basement. He looked around, made sure it was safe and left the safety of his circle. He went upstairs to Dean's room and approached it hesitantly. He heard Dean's voice, "Something's not right, Sam."

Thank God, John thought. He walked in. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alive," Dean answered.

"That's the main thing," John smiled.

"Where were you last night?" Sam asked, ruining this moment for John.

"I had something to take care of," John answered.

"That's specific," Sam said.

"Can we not fight right now," John begged. He just got his son back from the brink of death and didn't want to fight with the other one.

"Are you OK, dad?" Sam asked,s uddenly concerned. For the first time in his life, his dad looked old to him.

"I'm fine. Just tired. Would you mind getting me a cup of caffeine?"

"Sure, but don't think I don't know you went after the demon, you selfish liar," Sam said and left the room in search of potable coffee.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked when Sam had left the room.

"Nothing. I'm just glad you're OK. I'm proud of you, Dean."

"What? Is that you, dad?" Dean asked, suspicious. His father had never once said he was proud of him. Only while possessed by the demon.

"Yeah, it's me," John said, smiling. He knew it had to be weird for Dean to hear him say that and hated himself for that. He should have told him that at least a million times. "You took care of me, you took care of Sammy, and you never complained not once. You shouldn't have had to do that, and I'm sorry I took your childhood away from you."

"That's OK, dad," Dean said, still confused as to what was bringing this on.

"No, it's not," John said, firmly.

"Dad, did you do something stupid?" Dean asked.

"I gave the demon the Colt to bring you back," John answered.

"Now there's no way to kill him," Dean whispered.

"Killing him wasn't worth your life, Dean," John said. "I want you to watch out for Sammy.

"Yeah, dad, you know I will."

"No, this is different." John turned around to make sure nobody was around. "You need to save him, or you'll have to kill him."

"What does that mean?" Dean asked.

"You'll understand when the time comes," John said and exited the room hurriedly. He had to go fulfill his part of the bargain.

He walked into his own room to find the demon there waiting for him. "OK," he said and pulled out the gun and set it on the table.

"Thanks," the demon said and took his hand and reached inside John's chest and squeezed his heart. "Maybe I can't have your soul, but I can have the next best thing—your death."

With John's last breath he said, "Just don't touch Dean."

"Don't worry, John, a deal is a deal. I won't go after Dean unless he comes after me again."

John heard the words, and wasn't sure whether to be at peace or not. After all, he knew Dean and knew there was no way he wouldn't go after the demon again.

SSSSSSS

Sam returned with the coffee and looked in his father's room to see if he returned there. He dropped the cup when he saw his dad lying on the floor. He rushed over to him and yelled for help, but knew it was too late. His father was dead. And the last thing he had done was call him a selfish liar.

The End


End file.
